Barth Man

I was reading a passage from a book I never read last semester, The Epistle to the Romans by Karl Barth. Though it is simply a commentary that Barth wrote in 1918, I find myself in many "Holy Crap" moments (some would call these "wow!" moments) while reading this book. I wanted to share this one because I've been really wrestling with trying to figure out where western culture went wrong in modernity. Where did we lose Jesus?

"The Gospel is not a religious message to inform mankind of their divinity or to tell them how they may become divine. The Gospel proclaims a God utterly distinct from men. Salvation comes to them from Him, because they are, as men, incapable of knowing Him, and because they have no right to claim anything from Him. The Gospel is not one thing in the midst of other things, to be directly aprehended and comprenended. The Gospel is the Word of the Primal Origin of all things, the Word which, since it is ever new, must ever be received with renewed fear and trembling.

The Gospel is therefore not an event, nor an experience, nor an emotion - however delicate! Rather, it is the clear and objective perception of what eye hath not seen nor ear heard. Moreover, what it demands of men is more than notice, or understanding, or sympathy. It demands participation, comprehension, co-operation; for it is a communication which presumes faith in the living God, and which creates that which it resumes."

I think that Barth hits one of the many nails on the head when he describes the Gospel that Paul is sharing. I can relate to what we are making the Gospel out to be. Maybe we are making it into an event when we reach to our personal saviors or when we have alter call, rather than trying to simply participate in the story that is the Gospel. Maybe the Gospel is walking with the broken and noticing those who are hurt along the way rather than trying to give them an experience only to walk away from it without having talked to them about what had happened. Any immediate thoughts come to mind?

...and that's why we have auditions.

Seriously, you need to watch the whole thing. It is more painful than funny (although I started to laugh toward the end) but at the same time I have to point out that people always ask why worship teams audition. Darryl shows us why.

Gimme My Props!!!

I was talking with Monkey briefly about the idea of citing sources in talks. It's kind of a dilemma, because if these words are truly for God should they even be cited? I have heard quite a few talks where I know that they were given by somebody else. For Example, I heard a talk down at Mars Hill Seattle and came to bellingham and heard it at another church - almost word for word at points. And it makes me wonder (sure does) if we should be citing our sources. Should the church be giving the places where they recieve their talks from? If it is truly for the kingdom, should the author care when they find out that they were not cited? The same goes for worship music. We pay copyright fees and acknowledge writers, but if the song was written for God's glory, do they really need acknowledgment?

I understand the thought that we needs to get paid. I totally agree with this thought. Artists need to get paid for their art; this is why we have copyrights in the first place. I guess what I am trying to say is that if we are willing to acknowledge musical artists, shouldn't we acknowledge the spoken arts as well? Shouldn't the person using somebody else's words acknowledge the source it came from. My humanity wants it props - why should the other guy be termed a genius and I am not even seen - but my spirituality says, "to God be the Glory". It just sucks that my humanity is bigger than my spirituality sometimes.

Slow Down

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters"
-Psalm 23: 1-2 (NIV)

"Slow down everyone you're moving too fast
Frames can't hit you when you're moving like that..."
-Jack Johnson "Brushfire Fairytales"

I've come to the conclusion that I am on the go too much. I hate this time of school because I am so rushed with papers and finals. I am sick right now (I think due to school, church work,and hanging out with kids), and even though I am sick I am still working. In the Psalm, I found it interesting that it says "He makes me lie down in green pastures". It is the thought of forcing you to slow down, much like a shepherd would for his flock in the middle of the day. It's finding rejuvenation in a quiet,tranquil and serene place. I found this video of a beach just a walk up the way from my favorite beach in the world, Kailua Beach.

As we are entering into one of the most busiest times of Church work, Easter, we need to take ten minutes out of the day and just relax. Watch this video and just escape for a little time. rejuvenate.

I Go To an Ugly Church

This past weekend I was leading the singing part of our church and I looked out at the congregation and realized what an ugly bunch of people I lead. We have people who have marital problems, drinking problems, learning problems, sexual problems, people who have and/or are very open about their psychiatric problems, and people who are either "semi-homeless" or actually homeless who come to our church. We have the socially awkward, the socially inept, socially abandoned, and the socially weak. We have people who have lost their children to the state, have lost their spouses to disease, lost their lives to infidelity, "almost" had chidren out of wedlock or actually had their child out of wedlock - all come to our church. We have hippies, bankers, annoying people, liars, free loaders, slanderers, and gossips. We also have the poor, the marginal, the middle class, and the poorest by our standards. Now you are probably saying "Welcome to ministry Ron, We have these people in my church also", but the beauty of this weekend is that I realized that I know them by name.

I know all of these people who by the standards we have been given are considered ugly. Then there is me. I am the ugliest because I see these things. But now I've realized that these things that are ugly about them are the most beautiful part. It is the thought of them coming to Roosevelt Community Church to find someone who loves them and knowing that this person is Jesus. Some come to church because they feel that this is what good people do, but others come because jesus has begun healing them of their ugliness.

As I led the congregation in singing, I began thinking that this is what heaven is probably going to look like. Sorry, but I truly believe that the Kingdom of Heaven is not going to be a pretty place. We like to imagine that it will be, but I really believe that it is going to be one giant ugly place. Jesus spoke about this when he told the story about the King who threw a party. None of the pretty people showed up and when he sent his servants to remind the pretties, the servants were either told that the pretty people were too busy or the servant was killed. This is when the King told them to invite any who will come. I believe that the hopeless will make it into the Kingdom before the hopeful - better yet, the ugly will make it before the beautiful simply because the beautiful see the ugliness and decide that that is not for them. We are all drawn toward the attractive - it's true. We like the attractive things about culture - music, fashion, film, literature - but recently I've been gravitating toward the ugly. I've been leaning toward the broken before the fixed. I've seen the attractive and it is very inviting, but the ugly seems to be more real to me.

My church is ugly. As a worship leader, I point them in the direction of the One who sees them and makes them beautiful. I love it.

Interesting article

here is an article I read from Sam's friend/mentor, Wade Hodges.

This article is an interesting look at a "come and see" (numerically driven) church moving into the role of a "go and do" (gospel driven) church, and I felt is a glimmer of hope for the direction of church and the gospel.

peace,
ron

Matthew 21:32

"Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. 32For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him."

I'm still wrestling with the thought of the kingdom of God.

What about this guy?







And what about the guy in this song?

Lyrics to "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." By Sufjan Stevens

His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God

Are you one of them?

He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took of all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth

And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid

what about this guy...



and what about this "monster"?

It seems that we've written them all off as not being in the kingdom or not having a chance to even meet or reconcile with God. But this is the black and white world of christendom that I was talking about earlier. It is the black and white world which tells us who is going to heaven and who is not. I think it begins with knowing God and realizing that we are children of God first. After this, we need to realize that everybody else is a child of God, and then asking them if they believe they are hurting others through their actions. The Kingdom is not cut and dry, but instead it is very complicated and hard to understand. I don't know, I'm rambling now. what do you think?

~different thoughts~

***Warning: This may sound crazy and even heretical at times, but this is what I've been thinking about.***

I am writing a paper on Gay Marriage, arguing from the point that marriage in today's culture is not sacred, what with the ease of divorce and adultery in today's society, why shouldn't same sex marriage be allowed. THe funny thing is, though I think that SSM should be allowed, I would not perform a SSM if I was a religious leader of somekind. From my own moral standpoint, I see that it is wrong, but I am not going to condemn them for it. Pretty contradictory, huh? I guess I wonder, "what if marriage was viewed as a civil ceremony rather than a religious, would it then be okay?"

This is where I stand at a crossroad. Is SSM truly wrong? Christians quote scriptures from the Old Testament condemning gay relations, and then we can argue that Jesus brought a new covenant which erased the law of the old testament. ANd when Christians quote Paul in Romans 1:18-19; 22-23, what if paul is saying that you should either choose to be gay or not, but don't flounder between the lines (hot or cold, not luke warm). Be faithful to one person, not many.

Side note:
I began thinking about the Samaritan woman during this process. Here she was, viewed as a samaritan - only half of a human being. Sucked to be her, but isn't this how we view homosexuals today? What about the African Americans from the time of Slavery until only recently when we ended segregation (or at least attempted to). WHat about women? Since the beginning of time women have been oppressed by men, and only recently have had the hand that holds them down lightly lifted for them to breathe. I think that in about 50 years same sex marriage will be legal, the gay community will be more accepted by western culture, and instead of a lifestyle they will be viewed more as a minority.

ron

a post???

I haven't posted anything in a while, so I thought I would post this little nugget for all two of you who read this blog. It's a long one, but easy to read:

The Loving Church
With the question of relevance looming in the church, the question that stands is this: Is the worship service for reaching the seeker or feeding the believer? Worship is centered on Christians seeking their God with loving hearts, but Worship Evangelism can show the irreligious Christ’s love through the religious congregations actions, helping them understand and grow to know this God that they are seeing worshipped. Does the church have to cater their worship service solely to reach out with love to the seeker? Maybe instead they try to “keep it real” for the believers and not water down their traditions with a quick fix, or even try not to limit the service to the church building and extend worship outside the walls of the service. Looking at these three thoughts, enables a deeper exploration into the actions behind worship evangelism and who it is accommodating in the act of praising God.
“I can do all things through Christ who gives strength.” Here is an example of a Christian crutch of scripture which has helped Christians throughout history when dealing with the hard subjects of life. Christians believe this scripture to their Christian cores and give it away freely to each other as advice and an easy answer, but when it comes to the chance that they may offend the seeker by the way they are worshipping, they suddenly forget this verse. Christians have come to believe that God can speak to people through a donkey and a burning bush but cannot speak through their worship practices, and instead opt to show God’s love with consideration toward the seeker by not making them uncomfortable. In doing so, the church has set limitations on God and the way He can move in people’s lives and have forgotten that the measure of a true worshiper is not the length of historical tradition or the height of his hands above his head, but instead the depths of the love in his heart for the father.
If Christians truly believe that God can do anything, including move mountains, then it is time for them to take God out of the box. Christians have limited God in worship and thus returned to the thought of worshipping catering to them rather than God. Sally Morganthal reminds the church, in her book Worship Evangelism, that Christians should worship to witness because worship is witness, and that seekers can be changed through authentic corporate worship; therefore, the church does not have to water down the service in order to help seekers meet God. Instead, Christians need to extend God’s grace, because God does not want seekers to just see worship but He longs for them to become worshippers. When Christians come to worship, they acknowledge God’s presence, but must remember they do not come from “outside” where they live to “inside” where God lives, for God’s presence reaches beyond the walls of the church building.
The goal of Worship Evangelism isn’t exclusive worship services for believers only; it is a cry against attracting people with weakened worship, and instead building faith in the attendants through worship - it is a call for the church to be a church for the world’s sake; not entertaining or superficial but proclaiming the splendor of God, not the church’s feelings about Him. This is the chance to introduce the seeker to Christendom by teaching the language, habits and grammar of the church’s worship which requires faithfulness and reliance on God, rather than a dependence on the spectacle of the service. Worship is the work of believers; it is intriguing, even magnetic, to those who do not yet claim Jesus as Lord.
Christians need to remember that worship is an act for God done by the people and this is what they should focus on. There was the idea earlier about the thought of a God without limits but a common misnomer of the church is that they have limited their worship within the walls of the church. What about what Paul spoke about in the beginning of this paper in Romans 12:1 - offering ourselves as living sacrifices? Evangelism should be the work of all the people of the church, not the worship service; therefore, how will people know the Christian God if the church confines itself to the building without becoming proactive in society and sharing the love that Christ has for all his children?
Worship is thought to be for the spiritually hungry – people who are starving for truth. If the seeker has come to the church building seeking truth, then what right does the church have to deny them what they are looking for? Worshiping God without limitations places the congregation of worshippers on the same level – they are all at the foot of the cross together and none can boast of anything. By being on the same level, the seeker is able to learn from the example of the mature worshipper, and what God looks like in a Christian light.
The mega church has embraced this idea of worshipping on the same level, believer and non believer side by side, but in the process they have traded their theology for ideology. While attempting to be relevant to popular culture, the mega church has dropped the idea they still need to be counter cultural or as Marva Dawn had labeled it – alternative yet parallel to contemporary culture. Worship that entertains an audience instead of praising God is certainly contrary to this substantive purpose. Christians are called to be a body of people sent on a mission to speak into the culture, but in the process the contemporary church has adapted to it. With this loss of identity within the church through seeker services, not only is the church theology and doctrine weakened, but also the participant. By gaining identity, the Christian believer is able to share their faith more lovingly and boldly.
Most Christians do not share their faith because they feel that they are not skilled enough, they don’t have Christian friends, and they have been given a bad name by the sleazy preachers on TV. With these common excuses, among many, not to share our faith it is a wonder that Christians are called evangelists in the first place. Marva Dawn suggests that these excuses bring up the thought that “maybe we are religious consumers ourselves” – maybe Christians do not understand worship evangelism themselves. If a selfish, consumer filled church is all that the world sees, how will true Worship Evangelism ever happen? A better question to Worship Evangelism is this: If the “loving church” closed its doors and became a mini mall instead, would the world that once surrounded this church ever notice?

Alanis was right yet again...

I went to a Leadership conference this past week expecting to hear dribble and non sense, but I left amazed and inspired to change the world. I was pleasantly amused by people who I don't really care for and people who I felt had nothing to say to the church. I laughed as every speaker was speaking straight into the heart of the church and it felt like nobody was listening. I felt that it was ironic at the same time because everything they were saying that the church (or buisnesses) should look at doing, a lot were not doing at all. I was inspired to think and pray. I prayed for future leaders who are being brought up int he church and current leaders who are hopefully going to begin investing. I prayed for God's guidance in my own direction. I hope that God will enable me to attend and work with a community that I will know and not a congregation which looks like a sea of unfamiliar faces which I currently work. I don't want to be famous, I just want to introduce peace into my community and spread it into the world.

Ron, what have you been up to this summer?

Well, I have been busy with summer type activities. I have been running the middle school group at Ray of Hope - a camp for socially and financially challenged kids -, working at the church, and playing softball.

This past sunday I realized why I don't play in a church league. We played against a church, and in the midst of having our butts handed to us, they continually mocked and made jokes at my team. Needless to say, I was pissed. I joined a rec league so that I could meet people outside of the church and let them know that God loves them and the people of his church do also, but here we were playing a church team who were doing the exact opposite and all the "progress" (for lack of a better term) I made with my team being taken away. It sucked, because the people on my team don't go to church because most of them don't see God in the christians of this world...and so it continues. Deep inside, I wanted to go tell this team exactly what they were doing, but I didn't because I am a wussy with a p.

crap.

Tim Ansorge

Tim died on thursday morning at 1:25 a.m. after a year long battle with Melanoma. Sucky, but thinking about where he is is baffling to me. I was sitting in the funeral today wondering what he was doing today, and then I began wondering if there is even "time" in heaven. Is there lunch time in heaven? Is there a schedule of some kind? Is there sleep, because we all learn in sunday school that we get to do what we like most in heaven...sleep is mine.

Tim was a sarcastic, dry, hilarious, caring man of God. He loved his family and friends, and he loved Jesus. He made new musicians at cornwall church feel welcome and old ones feel like brothers and sisters. I will miss Tim. We had a lot of laughs together and a lot of tears. He truly lived by God's word, and embraced it with everything he had. He also knew the meaning of Hawaii's "spirit of Aloha", and continually lived by it in his interactions with strangers.

I was honored to sing at his funeral today, but more so, I was amazed to see old relationships begin to be rekindled. It never ceases to amaze me how in the midst of pain and hurt, God still shows up and is able to show us how he will continue to work in these times. Tim had us play a song at his funeral, which he asked me a year ago to sing, called "Who says you can't go home" - a duet with Bon Jovi and Sugarland. I walked in and asked Mike, our worship pastor, if he thought that this might be Tim's final joke on us by getting us to play a country song (which most of the peopel on stage dislike). I'll always remember Tim and I'm going to miss him, but I know that I'm going to see him again some day.

Crazy

I met with a friend of mine who is dying of cancer. Basically, he came back home to die. We talked about music, family, and "old times" that we've spent together. It was a good time, but so weird because he and I both know that he's going to die soon. He's scared, but excited.

It is a strange thought that we always say that we are "going to be with the Lord", but we also know that he is near always. My friend kept telling me that he feels so near to God and so close to God. Do we say this to reassure ourselves? Maybe there is a peace that falls on us when we know that we are dying.

Please pray for my friend, that GOd will ease his pain and that he will know that he is loved by his God, his family and his friends.

ron

quick thought

I've been thinking about the church and their priorities. It seems that we as the church have forgotten taht Jesus told us to First love God and then our neighbors as the most important things for us to do. Ultimately, the great commandment has been flipped and traded with the great commission, so instead of first meeting and knowing our neighbor, we are instantly trying to convert them with weak theology and weak stewardship. That's all I can write at this time, but I wanted to let you know that, like Pink, I'm not dead and thinking about you.

ron

Listening to: Hank Williams III. Sounds a lot like his grandpa and not at all like his dad...awesome.

...

Worship – what worship has developed into confuses me. It is the thought that worship is only done on Sundays that has become funny and cliché. How this thought of worshipping only inside the walls of the church in the form of singing and sermon on the weekends is beyond me. Could it be due in part to our individualistic culture and the loss of community in today’s church? The thought that we are only worshipping on Sundays is an argument we’ve all probably heard before, and yet we seem to be doing nothing about it. I wanted to share the idea of a visionary leader who worships God with everything that he/she has (Mark 12:30), what a true visionary looks like, and how they will have an impact on the church culture.

At Cornwall Church we sing and play a song by Todd Agnew, called Romans 12:1, which was written directly from a letter addressed to the Romans in which the Apostle Paul made the urging plea for people to “offer bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God”, calling it our “spiritual act of worship”. Calling people to no longer conform to the world, Paul asks for a renewal of our minds and to witness transformation within ourselves. Only then will we find God’s will – “his good, pleasing, and perfect will” (Romans 12:1-3). Once we have found God’s will in our lives, we must not keep it for ourselves, for we are called to let our light shine before others (Matthew 5:14-16) and proclaim repentance and forgiveness and to be witnesses (Luke 24:44-49).

Here is where the idea of a visionary leader takes place. A visionary leader is not someone who boldly faces the future in order to see what God is doing in the church. Instead, a visionary worship leader looks to history to see what God has done in order to build the future. Whether looking at their personal history or the church’s history, a visionary is able to teach and aid others with worship in a variety of ways, beyond Sunday morning or Saturday night, creating the spiritual worship as Paul had mentioned.

My hope is that we will consider our worship of God in a more serious light beyond ourselves, and so I wanted to leave us with these questions: What are we learning either historically or personally and how are we applying it to our personal worship of God and/or aiding others to live a life as described in Romans 12:1? Also, are we looking behind us in order to teach others, or are we simply facing forward waiting for somebody else to show us God’s will?

Peace,
Ron

"creative" planning

I went to a creative planning meeting for my church yesterday and somebody asked me what my initial thought was of the meeting. "I have just wasted two hours and ten minutes of my life", I replied, "I want them back."

ron

Easter Thoughts

Another easter has come and gone, and the church continues to dupe the unchurched into a message which instead of telling the truths of Jesus, tells them of their stupidity for not believing in Jesus and asks them to join their club. I get so sad when we are consistantly reminded of how "christmas and easter are the two biggest holidays in which the non churched come to church" and we are asked to bring our non churched friends to church so that we can reach out and share the good news of the risen christ, only to have them hate us because they waste an hour of their sunday being lectured to.
At my church we do this thing called "one life" - a person that you are inviting to church because they need to be saved. "Be praying for your one life", "Make sure you are thinking about your one life and inviting them" - both common christianese thrown around my church around this time of year. The thing is, I don't invite anyone, because I don't want to invite them only to feel like an asshole for inviting them to a lecture on why they should believe in Christ. Shoot, I could do that! Why don't they pay me money as their offering and I'll let them into my church for the sexy people...

Mars Hill - Ballard

I went to a service at Mars Hill this week as an experience for one of my worship classes at TWU. They are one of the fastest growing churches in the nation right now and are led by Mark Driscoll. Before I went to the church, I wrote down some thoughts as to what I thought the church service and congregation would look like so if this looks like a critique, unfortunately right now it is. This is just so I can begin my paper, but I wanted to share what I thought with you and also that my predictions of waht to expect before I got there were pretty accurate.

Mars Hill is an Mega Church which appeals mainly to sarcastic, artistic students who are looking for some help as they are on spiritual journey searching for some kind of truth. THough Mars Hill helps students find their way through this, it is a very cold church. Nobody seems friendly, the music is loud (am I getting old?!?), their is no eye contact from the stage - the list goes on and on. When I first walked in, I sat for an hour in thier foyer and nobody said hello or anything; not even the people at the information kiosk!

THe message was filled with sarcasm and talked poorly about other religions and other philosophies - Islam, Mormons, and New Age - and called them stupid; even making a joke that he was "sweating like Mike Tyson in a spelling bee" and when not a lot of people laughed he said that he thought that joke would get "a few more laughs than that". He also talked about how if he wasn't a christian, he would turn the church into a strip club, drink a lot and jump the walls of the playboy mansion - which I didn't think was offensive, but he kept dwelling on this point for at least ten minutes too long. I thought that the most ironic part of his sermon was when he told us that "never follow a white guy from the midwest who says he has a religion (mormons)", and later gave us the history of Mars Hill and told us how he started Mars Hill from 12 people in his home and had grown it to thousands and they were adding a new venue in west Seattle. The direct correlations were somewhat humorous.

There is a pressing for theology in the church, which I did like. It was evident in his talk as his sermon revolved around christ's death, his ressurection, and his eventual return and what will happen afterwards; not your normal mega church seeker sensitive message material. The church also has a film theology club where they watch movies and search for the correlations within the movie and christian theology. Also in the Mars Hill monthly magazine, there was an article about Martin Luther which said to me that this church pressed education amongst the people. But it was ironic how this church had zero participation from teh congregation. As the many books that I want to write ten years too late said, "welcome to the new reformation".

The one thing that I applaude Mars Hill for is that they know their audience. THey know who they are talking to and they are relevant with their talks...but I think that's about all that I could applaud them for.

ron

This Weeks Soundtrack

U2-How to dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Counting Crows-Recovering the Satelites
Busta Rhymes-When Disaster Strikes
Jars of Clay-Redemption Songs
Stone Temple Pilots-Purple
Patsy Cline-Heartaches
Prince-THe B-sides (Disc 3)
The INN-Empty I Come

Communion Thoughts

I just finished a paper on Luther and his hymns. I think the thing about Luther that is ammusing is the view of the reformation in the sense that the worship and liturgies of the church were all taken away from the people and instead performed at the altar by the ministers and the choir.

While researching and reading, I laughed at the correlation of the church today and how we are in desperate need for a reformation of some kind within our church. The services are very performance oriented in churches who have the money to buy cool backgrounds for their powerpoint slides, and the services in churches who don't have money to buy all the bells and whistles strive to meet the standards of excellence that the bigger brother across town had set up.

I laugh earlier, but it makes me sad and upset that people's minds work in these ways to bring the worship to a point where somebody can come to church and talk of the "great worship" instead of meeting or experiencing God. Even at mid-week "communion" services, people are more moved by the music than a stirring of God in their thoughts and hearts. These services had also become a show. Once going in with the purest intentions possible, now instead of worshipping God through rememberance we look at setlists and service orders and try to figure out where we can place the taking of the elements of which this service was intended for in the first place instead of revolving everything around the communion itself.

And then, we also make communion such a personal thing by seperating the bread for people so that they can go off in a corner and hide as they consume Christ. When I think Communion, I think community. Something that we experience together - same bread, same cup. This is my traditional fascination coming out in me, but I think that it is something that could be practiced whether in a church of 20 or 2000. Christ said "eat me" and "have a drink on me" in rememberance of him. But he told all of his disciples and they did it together, not individually.

I did this in one of my classes, where we served communion to each other instead of our prof giving us the elements. It was crazy having the person on my left, who wasn't a pastor by title, giving the elements to me and taking them, and then turning to my right and giving the elements to that person. So on and so on throughout the room hearing the words, "The Body and Blood of CHrist for you...". Imagine hearing this 20-100+ times in your congregation's communion service rather than hearing the band playing, "amazing love", "the wonderous cross", or "insert cliche communion song here". Surreal yet awkward. Counter Cultural - the way we christians are supposed to be.

Music I'm listening to: This week I've decided to select a bunch of CD's and listen to them throughout the week. Here is my week's list.

Joss Stone - Soul Sessions
Television - Marquee Moon
Ben Harper - Live from Mars (Disc 2)
Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde
Rage Against the Machine - Evil Empire
Chris Issak - Baja Sessions
Lyfe Jennings - Lyfe 268-192
The Cure - Galore (The Singles 1987-1997)

Song Lyrics

Here are some lyrics from a song that I wrote for my CD that I'm working on. Originally I wanted to title it "whore", but instead I put the date.


1.25.01

Do you remember how they were living
Or how they used to walk
Do you remember all the love they shared
Or how they used to talk
Do you remember them walking fearless
Or how they used to act
Do you remember her reckless abandon
thinking he'd take her back

But now all her friends are laughing
And same goes for her enemies
"Why did you leave me?" she asks
"Why am I alone"

So now she sits in misery
Weeping buckets of tears
Now she sits without a soul
Or a soul to care for her
She feels so cheap and worthless
She groans and turns in shame
She longs for others just to feel her
and to feel her pain

And now all her friends are laughing
Same goes for her enemies
"Why did you leave me?" she asks
"Why am I alone"

Oh, oh, oh
How empty she's become
Oh, oh, oh
She was once on top of the world
Once the queen of the ball
Now a slave to the world
Once chosen by him
Now she's an ordinary girl

And now all her friends are laughing
Same goes for her enemies
"Why did you leave me?" she asks
"Why am I alone"


This is actually a lament out of Eugene Peterson's Message remix (first half of the bible, 25th book, first chapter - or Lamentations 1). I wrote another song out of Lamentations. I found lamentations easy to write out of because it is full of heartbreak and questioning and bitching and complaining (that's some blaine talk for you), but in the end people eventually remember that God is good and he is holy. Through all of the crap that we go through, God is still sovereign...this is something that I think we forget as Christians and choose instead to whore ourselves out and live the way we want. Why not, sometimes it feels good to be bad, right? But then we find ourselves in the same position as Jerusalem: Now all of our friends are laughing and same goes for our enemies. "Why did you leave me?" we ask.
"Why am I alone?".